Why Cookie Dough is Better Than Men

* It's enjoyable soft or hard.

* It makes a mess too, but it tastes better.

* It doesn't mind if you take your anger out on it.

* You always want to swallow.

* It won't complain if you share it with your friends.

* It's quick and convenient.

* You can enjoy it more than once.

* It comes already protectively wrapped.

* You can make it as large as you want.

* If you don't finish it you can save it for later.

* It's easier to get the kind you want.

* You can comparison shop.

* It's easier to find in a grocery store.

* You can put it away when you've had enough.

* You know yours has never been eaten before.

* It won't complain if you chew on it.

* It comes chocolate flavored.

* You always know when to get rid of it.

* You can return it--satisfaction guaranteed.

* It's always ready to go.

* You won't get arrested if you eat it in public.

* You don't have to change the sheets if you eat it in bed.

* It won't wake you up because it's hard.

* You don't have to find an excuse not to eat it.

* You can tell your friends how much you've eaten without sounding like you're bragging.

* It won't take up room in your bed.

* It's easy to pick up.

* You never have unwanted cookie dough chasing you around.

* You know what the extra weight is from.

* It won't get jealous if you pick up another one.

* It never has an insecurity problem with its size.

* It is very pliable.